The Little Women

Baby melts into mama’s embrace almost instantly. We just lay there in silence, hugging each other real hard. Then his eyes slowly closed and his breath deepens. Baby is asleep in 5 minutes after meeting me. My whole world is finally, finally comes home. I refuse to turn the lights off, you know. I’d prefer we sleep this night off in bright lights, for me to soak his presence for as long as time allows. Seeing his face, embracing his body, inhaling his smell, goofing around every time and everyday. Seeing his smile & hearing his laugh. Thank God, oh thank God he’s finally home. He’s healthy, happy, he’s more than great and he’s just, beyond amazing. Thank God, oh thank God for everything. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 15 April 2025. Hari Selasa, pukul 9 malam. (Part Two)

To tell you the truth, I barely functioning this whole week, you know. At all.   Even though I might appear good on the surface but my thoughts are in such disarray of not knowing what, where or how my baby is. Because I’m not with him, you know? This one time I even forgot the steps of my shower, I have no idea what steps was done and what wasn’t done because apparently my thoughts were somewhere else. I became forgetful on things I do not normally forget.  My heart was somewhere else because baby was somewhere else. And tonight I waited downstairs for hours upon his arrival, and the moment his car parked in the driveway I bolted out to take him into my arms. Finally. Finally. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 15 April 2025. Hari Selasa, pukul 9 malam. (Part One)

There it is, baby. The overlapping shadow  of the world outside. Do you see it? Are you able to see what mama sees? So here’s the thing, darling. This world is not just one straight arrow going one way, it’s  so many bended ones overlapping with one another; scattered around with so many destinations of each. And people is so much like those arrow; bended. Circumstances and situations bend the arrow to the left, then right, then left again, and so on and so on.  Then the arrow intersect with another arrow that has so many dents within itself already, then both arrows intersect with another arrow yet again. And those dents, those intersections; those overlaps are exactly what makes our world as beautiful as it is right now.  People with the overlapping shadows in their interactions of one another and their interactions within themselves. As complex and as beautiful as they are. So please, there’s no need to be ashamed of every history of ours & our own body, okay?...