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Eyes

I know your eyes are wide open, child.

Because you come crawling to your mama.


You toss your body left and right; restless from the sudden wakefulness. Then mama soothe you back to sleep.


She will pat your back gently while whispering her magic words :


“You’re okay, baby. You’re just startled. You’re okay, darling. Shh, shh.”


“It’s all right, baby; I know you’re afraid. Mama’s here.”


“I’m right here, baby. You’re okay.”


Then (somehow) you always reach for her belly button for comfort; then your breath deepens, it starts to inhale then exhale slowly. Ever so slowly but sure.


You’re finally asleep, again.


It occurs many times at night, baby.

And mama’s okay with that.


Mama’s okay with being your everything. 


If we associate memory with feelings then I hope these feelings stay forever. The feeling of love & being loved back, the feeling of immense happiness, the feeling of being safe and sound, the feeling of.. everything.


I hope it stays forever.


And I hope that we stay forever too. Being each other’s home, safe enough for you to confide in me in hard times & celebrate with me in happy times.


Mama loves you so, baby. Mama loves you so.


Xoxo, 

Ananda


Ananda Khaira Azizah,

Pekanbaru, 27 Februari 2025.

Hari Kamis, pukul 1 malam.

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