The marriage of equals

Speaking of the traditional celtic vow, one to two years ago was the first time I’ve ever heard this vow, and it’s been stuck with me from that moment on. There is no vow that could describe marriage better than this vow, I suppose. Especially the part that says “You cannot possess me for I belong to myself. You cannot command me for I am a free person." But alongside that she also said “I pledge to you my living and my dying, I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine. I shall honor you above all others. This is my wedding vow to you, this is the marriage of equals."

I promise you that I’ll be the best mother that I can be. I’ll shower them with lots and lots of love and affection, I’ll take a very good care of their well-being along with their interests. I shall give it my all for them. But I will not, and will never restrict their movements, I will not take their voices away, I shall not limit their thoughts. For they are also a person of their own. I’ll let them spread their wings and fly up high in the sky, to become the best that they can be, the very best version of themselves. I’ll be their number one fan throughout the course of their lives. And alongside all of that, I’ll be your best friend for life, your first aide of everything, your forever-ally.

That is what marriage supposed to and always be. The marriage of equals. Marriage is a companionship, not an ownership. I feel that sometimes we mistook them both. I watched the movie “Bebas” lately to which the main actress said something to her friend “Thank you for reminding me that I’m not just a wife and a mother. Thank you for reminding me that I am so much more than that, that I am still myself.” Even with marriage, we are still our own person. Love is about two already-whole person finding each other, bringing up the best in one another. Love is never about one person completing each other. We really don’t need anyone to complete us, for we're already complete by ourselves.

Always be there for us, navigate us through life but please, do not restrict us. Let us explore ourselves and spread our wings. Let us hold on tight to our dream, watch us pave our way into it, slowly but sure, one small steps at a time. It is companionship that we seek, not some proprietary rights.

But of course we still have to give all of ourselves to you and you only, be it our heart or anything. Forever. But please note that we are your partner, for you don’t own us, that we are your ally for the rest of your life.

That’s exactly why we should implement the celtic wedding vow into our lives. Equality is the key for diminishing any gender-related-problem in this merciless world we live in.