The Little Women

I’ve built him a cocoon Where inside, he’ll feel as safe as a clam. That inside, even though it’s dark he’ll be comforted by it  instead of getting scared, Even though he’s alone he  will never feel lonely, and even  though  he’s cold  he will never feel the cold. He will hear his own heartbeat like a ticking clock; beating slowly, steady and sure. Inside he’ll learn that his anger is fine, his big upset is fine and even tantrums are fine, too. Inside he will learn that he is fine. Then eventually he’ll emerge  confident, secure and safe. He’ll emerge as  lovely as he always be. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 27 Oktober 2025. Written on 5am on a Monday.

So I wrote another piece just now and the piece require some arrangements to make it flows better. It’s not a rephrase but literally a change in the sentences stance and it made massive difference! It amazes me so much that I start to dwelve deeper into it and something even more amazing arise. I realized that the experience just now represent a perspective shift.  Perspective : “A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.” The “POV” point is the icing on the cake here. Your narratives might not be that good but by changing your point of view it will be way better, right? Like my writings just now, the moment I rearrange the sentence it change the whole paragraph; something that will eventually leads to changes of the whole story. You can coupled that with acceptance that I talked with my friend last night. So I really think that POV rearrangement + acceptance is the key to a more manageable lives. What do you think?  Ananda Khaira Azizah, Peka...

Oh I have a baby on my sleeves And he just sleeps there, looking a bit peeve. Then I wonder what could the reason be? Turns out baby is feeling hot, while mama feels cold. What should we do then? “Then…” mama answered. Then we alternate. I’ll turn the temp down when you’re hot but it’ll go right up again the moment I feel cold, 👩🏻 : Deal? | 👶🏻 : Deal. Then Papa comes home says baby feels hot because his hair is wet and his perspiration is bad, So the AC goes down again, then up, then down… … ‘til the end of time … Pssst.. Do you know what I truly wish for? I wish our AC lives a very long and very meaningful life, Xoxo, Ananda. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, October 14th 2025. Written on 6pm on a Tuesday.

I told my husband that I bet his life will be much easier if he married a hijabi who cooks & clean instead of this messy, worrier & crier old me and he told me straight out that even he never think of that (😂), that if he wants all that stuff he should just find a maid instead. Now as teenager these days said green flag; green forest etc but that is a green world, y’all. That right there is a whole green world. Because he knows that a wife is so much more than just a domestic wife, right? That a wife is also a person herself with her dislikes; aspirations; dreams & such.  👱🏻‍♂️ : “You’ve been a very great support to me & to our child. That’s all that matters.” said husband and I thank God that my better half is that wonderful man. Because if a wife burns out then the whole family burns out with her, you know? That is how important a wife/mother is for the family. If the mother is astray then the family is, too. If the mother lost her laugh then the family’ll lost...

Is there such thing as a “good sad”? And no, it’s not a play of words. The word popped in my mind just now and well, it’s pretty intriguing. Some says a “good sad” is like a memorabilia or bittersweet memories or else but the word that I’m looking for is probably melancholy. Why is melancholy a good sad, you wonder? Isn’t it necessarily a bad thing? What good will melancholy do? Melancholy : “A feeling of thoughtful sadness.” The thoughtful part is quite a contrary from “Sadness without a definite cause”, right? one is thoughtful while the other is mindless sadness. But both definitions talk about the same thing, that melancholy is a “feeling”. And having a feeling is good. It’s great. That means that you are still connected to the outside world and being connected is wonderful. It means that there is still hope for things to get better, some things that will either come from yourself or from others. Sooner or later some lights will shine and the grass will grow. Even melancholy can’t ...

I can’t sleep on some nights or even breath on some days, you know. My mind’s either fully stuffed or completely empty. It’s a real messed up one in one way or another. And some people’s just really good at covering everything’s up. I was walking on eggshells all the time, being cautious of how & when the next attack will be (which often times comes from myself) and whether or not I’ll be strong enough to take the fall. That’s why even the slightest remarks breaks me down. I’m also a pro at second guessing myself, you know. I literally wonder what else should I do to make me feel like I’m enough. But enough for who? I then asked. Enough for me, I think. I put such high standards upon myself of what should I do or be then stressing myself a whole lot from it. The expectation of other’s just so mixed up with mine I don’t even know which is which. That’s why, that’s why a peace of mind really is a rarity for me. So I don’t know, maybe, just maybe my first task is to love myself after ...