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Before the wind turns soft

Before the wind turns soft, Remember how hard you held on during those hard times. Remember how strong, how patient & how brave you were. All those fights between you and yourselves; all those doubts, the tears and everything else. When pray is your only way out and faith being the only hope, your bravery at that time really is outstanding. Then again, harsh times out the strongest warrior, right? You just never knew that you are one. A survivor. A warrior. You never knew you could do it but you did. You think it’s impossible but turns out it isn’t. You are so much stronger than you often give yourselves credit for.    Sometimes we do need to celebrate ourselves before we celebrate others, right? Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 4 Juni 2025. Hari Rabu, pukul 6 sore.
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Laughter in The Fire

There’s this laughter in the fire So amazingly free, it baffles everyone who see. “Does she have no worries?” Everyone asked. Oh but she did, darling. She just choose to laugh her heart out in that moment of fire. For the fire’s too pretty, Too fierce to be weight by our past and present worries. Tomorrow we’ll have all day of everyday to get back to that. But for now, let’s just laugh with no worries. For we need that laugh to keep us going. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 21 Mei 2025. Hari Rabu, pukul 11 malam.
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This one life

I grieve for you, baby. For the bad stomachache that you had last night, for the worse flu that you’ve ever had, for the worst vomit that you’ve ever encountered. But I want you to know that I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of you for sticking through it all. You are so brave, handling it so great & all. I’m sorry if I snapped at you sometimes or even failed to understand you, mama’s still learning how to be one. Even after all this time. Thank you for the patience, support and love that you so abundantly give, baby. Thank you for being the greatest teacher of it all. I hope you’ll continue to learn with me. Hand in hand, through the highs and lows of this one life that we have. For all we have is each other, truly. All we have is each other. Mama loves you, baby. Xoxo. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 30 April 2025. Hari Rabu, pukul 1 malam.
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The city of Malacca

I always love photography and this  piqturesque city is just a great fit for me. With its rich history and the red square that’s very touristy, this walkable city  is one of UNESCO’s world heritage;  along with Penang and its George  Town famous mural on the wall. Oh thank God my place is near this beautiful little town. It’s my third time here and  still, an all time favorite all in all. This time I’m here with hubby, hoping  next time we’ll be back with baby. Pretty sure he’ll enjoy this city  just as much as mommy. The vibrant color, its laidback atmosphere with beautiful lights show all over the city is really one to die for. This city has pulse, so alive in its own way. The city that instantly & completely feels  like home. I hope, oh I hope each of you also  has one particular city that hold your heart forever, I hope you find your  own home away from home. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Kota Malaka, 5 April 2025. Hari Sabtu, pukul 2 pa...
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My Whole World

Baby melts into mama’s embrace almost instantly. We just lay there in silence, hugging each other real hard. Then his eyes slowly closed and his breath deepens. Baby is asleep in 5 minutes after meeting me. My whole world is finally, finally comes home. I refuse to turn the lights off, you know. I’d prefer we sleep this night off in bright lights, for me to soak his presence for as long as time allows. Seeing his face, embracing his body, inhaling his smell, goofing around every time and everyday. Seeing his smile & hearing his laugh. Thank God, oh thank God he’s finally home. He’s healthy, happy, he’s more than great and he’s just, beyond amazing. Thank God, oh thank God for everything. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 15 April 2025. Hari Selasa, pukul 9 malam. (Part Two)
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Finally

To tell you the truth, I barely functioning this whole week, you know. At all.   Even though I might appear good on the surface but my thoughts are in such disarray of not knowing what, where or how my baby is. Because I’m not with him, you know? This one time I even forgot the steps of my shower, I have no idea what steps was done and what wasn’t done because apparently my thoughts were somewhere else. I became forgetful on things I do not normally forget.  My heart was somewhere else because baby was somewhere else. And tonight I waited downstairs for hours upon his arrival, and the moment his car parked in the driveway I bolted out to take him into my arms. Finally. Finally. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 15 April 2025. Hari Selasa, pukul 9 malam. (Part One)
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The Overlapping Shadow

There it is, baby. The overlapping shadow  of the world outside. Do you see it? Are you able to see what mama sees? So here’s the thing, darling. This world is not just one straight arrow going one way, it’s  so many bended ones overlapping with one another; scattered around with so many destinations of each. And people is so much like those arrow; bended. Circumstances and situations bend the arrow to the left, then right, then left again, and so on and so on.  Then the arrow intersect with another arrow that has so many dents within itself already, then both arrows intersect with another arrow yet again. And those dents, those intersections; those overlaps are exactly what makes our world as beautiful as it is right now.  People with the overlapping shadows in their interactions of one another and their interactions within themselves. As complex and as beautiful as they are. So please, there’s no need to be ashamed of every history of ours & our own body, okay?...
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