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The Mother’s Lair

Welcome to the mother’s lair. The lair is humble from the start, then it gets even humbler when her child enters the frame. Now let me tell you what you might see there : You might see her shoes scattered around because her child always gave it to her asking to go out. You might see the toys going places because they did go everywhere the child goes; you might see his animal figurines at the far end of the room because he throws them so, very far away and you might find little things hidden under the fridge; bed or anything with spaces underneath for the child to tuck in his small, precious things. Then comes the second lair is her car. Now the car is her second home then of course it became her child second’s home too. You will see that the balls are there (so many of them), his slippers; shoes; fresh diapers; wet wipes and anything else. You can also find his hat & his busy board. But underneath it all, you will see the mother who did her best. In every level at literally everywh...
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Tondi’s POV

I can always feel my mom whenever she’s near (or not), even when I was asleep. She wore her engagement ring on her left hand - index finger and her wedding ring on the right hand - ring finger. She always try to be calm to calms me even when she’s real panic inside. She slow her breathing down to slowed mine while holding me tight, stroking my back gently. She put her chin on top of my head - for whatever reason so I did the same thing; she clasps my cheek, lean me towards her then kiss me on the forehead. She will stretch her arms so wide to invite me to come to her embrace. She loves to cuddle; very, very excited to do playtime and loves storytelling in particular because it enables her to make funny gestures & weird sounds and all (she’s also very proud of the orange room) I’m also very, very grateful that my mom is always here and always near. Love you mom. Xoxo, Tondi. Ananda Khaira Azizah,  Pekanbaru, 13 Juni 2025. Hari Jumat, pukul 6 pagi.

Before the wind turns soft

Before the wind turns soft, Remember how hard you held on during those hard times. Remember how strong, how patient & how brave you were. All those fights between you and yourselves; all those doubts, the tears and everything else. When pray is your only way out and faith being the only hope, your bravery at that time really is outstanding. Then again, harsh times out the strongest warrior, right? You just never knew that you are one. A survivor. A warrior. You never knew you could do it but you did. You think it’s impossible but turns out it isn’t. You are so much stronger than you often give yourselves credit for.    Sometimes we do need to celebrate ourselves before we celebrate others, right? Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 4 Juni 2025. Hari Rabu, pukul 6 sore.

Laughter in The Fire

There’s this laughter in the fire So amazingly free, it baffles everyone who see. “Does she have no worries?” Everyone asked. Oh but she did, darling. She just choose to laugh her heart out in that moment of fire. For the fire’s too pretty, Too fierce to be weight by our past and present worries. Tomorrow we’ll have all day of everyday to get back to that. But for now, let’s just laugh with no worries. For we need that laugh to keep us going. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 21 Mei 2025. Hari Rabu, pukul 11 malam.

This one life

I grieve for you, baby. For the bad stomachache that you had last night, for the worse flu that you’ve ever had, for the worst vomit that you’ve ever encountered. But I want you to know that I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of you for sticking through it all. You are so brave, handling it so great & all. I’m sorry if I snapped at you sometimes or even failed to understand you, mama’s still learning how to be one. Even after all this time. Thank you for the patience, support and love that you so abundantly give, baby. Thank you for being the greatest teacher of it all. I hope you’ll continue to learn with me. Hand in hand, through the highs and lows of this one life that we have. For all we have is each other, truly. All we have is each other. Mama loves you, baby. Xoxo. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 30 April 2025. Hari Rabu, pukul 1 malam.

The city of Malacca

I always love photography and this  piqturesque city is just a great fit for me. With its rich history and the red square that’s very touristy, this walkable city  is one of UNESCO’s world heritage;  along with Penang and its George  Town famous mural on the wall. Oh thank God my place is near this beautiful little town. It’s my third time here and  still, an all time favorite all in all. This time I’m here with hubby, hoping  next time we’ll be back with baby. Pretty sure he’ll enjoy this city  just as much as mommy. The vibrant color, its laidback atmosphere with beautiful lights show all over the city is really one to die for. This city has pulse, so alive in its own way. The city that instantly & completely feels  like home. I hope, oh I hope each of you also  has one particular city that hold your heart forever, I hope you find your  own home away from home. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Kota Malaka, 5 April 2025. Hari Sabtu, pukul 2 pa...

My Whole World

Baby melts into mama’s embrace almost instantly. We just lay there in silence, hugging each other real hard. Then his eyes slowly closed and his breath deepens. Baby is asleep in 5 minutes after meeting me. My whole world is finally, finally comes home. I refuse to turn the lights off, you know. I’d prefer we sleep this night off in bright lights, for me to soak his presence for as long as time allows. Seeing his face, embracing his body, inhaling his smell, goofing around every time and everyday. Seeing his smile & hearing his laugh. Thank God, oh thank God he’s finally home. He’s healthy, happy, he’s more than great and he’s just, beyond amazing. Thank God, oh thank God for everything. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 15 April 2025. Hari Selasa, pukul 9 malam. (Part Two)